Wednesday, 20 January 2016

When will it be the right time for me to have another baby?

This week has been rather hectic. I've been helping mum move and have felt overwhelmed with all the things I've found that brought back memories of my pregnancy and when Mya was a baby.

Seeing my scan pictures again made me feel so amazed. The things a female body can do is breathtaking. It's so beautiful that my body allowed me to grow and nurture my baby in my womb. It's still hard to believe that it is Mya whilst looking at the pictures. It's a weird feeling and I've heard other mothers speak about it whilst looking at their scan pictures too.


All of these emotions has left me feeling broody... Once again!

So when is the right time for me to have another baby?

I couldn't tell you how many times I've been asked when am I going to have another baby or that I shouldn't leave the gap so big. People seem to forget that there are no rules or laws as to when it is the right time to have another baby or not. What's right for one family may not particularly work for another.

Mya is now 4 years old and starts primary school this September. I feel like in the next year or two it will be the right time for ME to have another baby. I see this as a good age gap between the two children for myself to be able to cope with more than one child. I became a mum at 21 years old, now at 26 I believe I am more confident and wiser. It's a good time for Mya too (she has been asking for a sibling for 2 years now). Although she's already very independent I think it'll grow greatly once she has a little brother or sister.

Here are a few pros and cons of having children close in age from parents I've had conversations with vs the pros and cons of having a bigger age gap (4+ years).

Having children close in age

Pros
- get the tough early years over faster
- same naptime/bedtime
- easier to get siblings into the same school 

Cons
- constantly potty/toilet training
- not much one-to-one time
- competition between siblings

Having children with a bigger age gap

Pros
- a break between sleep deprivation in early years
- not having to worry about having more than one child in nappies
- the older child can "help out"

Cons
- siblings do not have a close relationship (not in my case. My sister is my best friend and she's 4 and a half years younger than me)
- siblings not understanding each other
- siblings find it difficult sharing attention 

There are plenty more pros and cons but please do not forget that every family is different! If you have any pros and cons you'd like to share please leave a comment below for others to read.

I've got some baby making practice to do ;-)

Mumma who tries x

Thursday, 14 January 2016

Not knowing your true self

I sat down and asked myself What do you truly like or love? What do you want from life? And I couldn't answer... All I had to list was greek style yoghurt. Five minutes later I finally listed 'being a mother'.

I wanted to cry. In fact I still want to cry. Why could I only list two things and why didn't I think of 'being a mother' first?

Why? Why couldn't I answer my own question about my own life?



Because I do not actually know my true self. Sounds silly because I LOVE being a mother and my life revolves around Mya. But deep down I'm much more than just a mother. I'm a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter, a niece, a cousin, an aunty, a partner, a friend... The list goes on. Most importantly I'm a human being! A Mumma who tries on a journey of self love and self discovery.

I find myself constantly wishing for things to change and always praying. Through reading different quotes I've now realised things are not happening because I don't truly believe it will happen. This needs to change. I need to focus on the law of attraction!

As quoted in the Bible from Mathew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you". Just like in 'The Secret' Ask, believe, receive!



All of this relates to finding my true self. It's not going to happen straight away and not going to be plain sailing. I'll have to overcome many obstacles and most importantly to stay guided. A step I am going to take to find my true self is through meditation.

Meditating helps to bring peace and can help my life become more meaningful. It is the art of silencing the mind. Concentration levels are increased and you are able to experience inner peace.

What I hope to achieve from meditation?

1. Improved concentration
2. Better health 
3. Knowledge of self

Through meditation I hope to gain a better understanding of my life's purpose and through this finding my true self.

Mumma who tries x

Sunday, 10 January 2016

My top 10 favourite songs

This is a random post. I'll be posting random posts from time to time to help you all get to know me better.

These are my top 10 favourite songs. I do not have a favourite genre of music as I listen to many and enjoy most of them. 

Music is my escape from reality. When the words in a song relate to how I am feeling it reassures me that I'm not the only one going through this emotion.



Well here are my top 10 (not in any particular order). I've also included my favourite quote/s from the songs.

1. Bob Marley- Who the Cap fits
"Your worst enemy could be your best friend, And your best friend your worst enemy"
2. Simon and Garfunkel- Bridge Over Troubled Water
"When tears are in your eyes, I'll dry them all"
3. Gyptian- Serious Times 
"Said when you wake up this morning, You better give thanks, You don't know if you gonna live to see tomorrow, Life is much more precious than gold"
4. Alicia Keys- No One
"No one, no one, no one, Can get in the way of what I feel for you"
5. Beyonce- 1+1
"And I don't know when I'm gonna die but I hope, That I'm gonna die by you"
6. Lauryn Hill- Ex-Factor
"Loving you is like a battle, And we both end up with scars"
7. Joe- All the Things (Your Man Won't Do)
"Nothin' can be sweeter than the sound of makin' love"
8. Beres Hammond- There for You
"You taught me how to love again, you keep on talk to me babe, when i needed a friend, To love is such a wonderful thing, not every body knows, exactly what it means"
9. Jah Cure- Unconditional Love
"You never see it coming, then the next thing you know, unconditional love, unconditional love, she aint lookin for no diamonds, and digging for no gold, just somebody to love, unconditional love"
10. Troots n Ice- Mi Amor
"And I can't get you out of my mind, I think about you all the time"



How does music make you feel?

Mumma who tries x

Thursday, 7 January 2016

Preparing for primary school... 8 months early!

Why am I preparing for Mya starting primary school so early? To be honest I've been thinking about this for months. At one point I had an anxiety attack.



This is such a huge milestone. Not only for Mya but for myself also. This transition into "big school" is extremely daunting hence why I am writing this blog post 8 months before she starts. This is to mentally prepare myself until the panic starts in April when I find out what school she'll be attending.

Many people have told me it'll be easy as she's been going to day nursery since she was 11 months old. All I keep on thinking about is that it is going to be a new environment for her. She's been used to going to the same place 5 days a week for 3 years! I question myself whether I have made the wrong decision by keeping her at day nursery and not changing to a pre-school. I'm sure I'm not the only parent that has doubted themselves in regards to their children. It's something we naturally do. The question "what if?" will always be at the back of our minds. I should really stop pondering as I can't change anything now. I'll just do what I learned most parenting is about... I'll just continue to blag it.

To get prepared for September it's not too early to think about the practicalities!

Childcare 

Will I be working full time? Should I go down to part time? Would getting a childminder be better? Could I afford a childminder? Does the schools I've applied for have breakfast and/or after school clubs?

Do I want to take her to school and pick her up? Well ideally yes I do. Mya's my first child and I want to be a part of this stage of development as much as I can. But am I being realistic? This is why it's a good thing to be thinking about it early.

Uniform

Could I start buying uniform from now before knowing what school she'll be attending? Are the uniform lists for each school applied for similar?



Luckily the uniforms for each school are quite similar with the jumpers and cardigans being different. 5 out of the 6 schools applied for have a crested jumper or cardigan so that will be the last item I'll buy. Also 1 out of the 6 schools uniform is navy while the other 5 is grey. Thinking about it now it makes sense to buy it in April when I find out.

Where to shop and when to shop?

School uniforms are widely advertised and the prices do not seem to be bad.  I'll be looking to buy items that come in multipacks preferably as I am planning on having 5 of each items (one for each day). I'm looking more into buying pinafores as Mya's waist is tiny and that limits me to where I can buy skirts from.

I'm planning to shop for uniform in April and school shoes in July or early August. For uniform I'll be looking in M&S, John Lewis, Next, Asda, Sainsburys, Tesco and Matalan. For shoes in Clarks. Mya's worn Clarks shoes since she could walk and in my opinion are the best shoe shop for children. Especially those with slim feet.

Oh my!!! There's so much more to think about. Good thing I have enough time :)

Until next time.

Mumma who tries x

Friday, 1 January 2016

Happy New Year!!!

We are finally in 2016!!!

I had an emotional 2015. I'm not gonna say the whole year was bad as I do have many happy memories from the year. But I'm glad it's over. To describe 2015 in one word... DRAINING!

Now time to move on and focus on the present and future!

For 2016 this 'mumma who tries' is going to try and be selfish... Yes you read correctly, I'm going to try to be selfish. Why? Because I'm forever putting others before myself and end up being left feeling like I never do things for myself. Well actually I won't be entirely selfish as I am a Mumma to a 4 year old lol. I do have to take care of myself first though because if I don't then I can't care for others. For me to succeed in life becoming selfish is critical. This selfishness is a positive move.

2016 is all about having a positive mindset!


How I am going to start being more selfish.

1. Include myself in the list of what is important to me and put myself at the TOP of the list!

2. Learn how to say NO and actually mean it.

3. Figure myself out... What makes me happy? What makes me sad/angry? Am I the person I want to be right now?

4. Identify obstacles blocking my path.

I can only live my life once I am willing to cultivate selfishness.

What will you do for yourself to help you in 2016?